1. Drama might be exciting but its not what makes you happy. satire sitcom, Parks and Recreation. Ron Swanson , Parks and Recreation , Parks and Recreation Season 3 : Andy and April's Fancy Party. Hes never wanted to go that extra mile. Have an annoying co-worker who wont leave you in peace? 8. You cant be upset when nobody thanks you. Heres April and Andys: A hammer, a half-eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans. , My first ex-wifes name is Tammy. Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. Thats why my favorite book is Moby Dick. He doesnt do a lot of work around here. Ron Swanson, Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. Only idiots recommend that. , Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards. , When I eat, it is the food that is scared. , Sting like a bee. He shows zero imitative. Ron Swanson, When I walked in this morning and saw that the flag was half-mast, I thought All right, another bureaucrat ate it! Ron Swanson, We will get along just fine, though hopefully not too fine, because I am not looking for any new friends. He knows Donna deserves someone who is going to be good to her, not those who bring her drama. Hes not a team player. Great job, everyone. Your email address will not be published. And from gladiators into Swansons., There has never been a sadness that cant be cured by breakfast food., When I eat, it is the food that is scared., Theres only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Whose to say what works? Id work all night if it meant nothing got done., Fishing is for sport only. My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing hes allowed to decide is who to nuke. See more ideas about ron swanson, swanson, ron swanson quotes. . I like Tom. Therefore, I do not joke. Ron Swanson, Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. My second ex-wifes name is Tammy. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. Shared with Public Follow "Fishing relaxes me. Never half-ass two things. Which is water that's lying about being milk. One single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a childrens program called Doc McStuffins. Ron Swanson, 26. It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art., 58. "Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.". From "Pilot" (Season 1): On his feelings about the Parks Department: "I've been quite open about this around the office: I don't want this parks department to build any parks, because I don't believe in government. Do you understand?, 16. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Ive had the same haircut since 1978 and Ive driven the same car since 1991. Im a simple man. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. So please, dont give up on love. Quotes. The show survived through seven seasons for a total of 125 episodeswhich only means a lot of content from Ron Swansons character that are hilarious both in and out of context. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food. Ron Swanson, There has never been a sadness that cant been cured by breakfast food. Ron Swanson, [Describing his allergies] Cowardice and Weak Willed Men and Hazelnuts Ron Swanson, This is not government work, as such I treat it with care and attention. Ron Swanson, There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Ron Swanson, If there were more food and fewer people, this would be a perfect party. Ron Swanson, Fishing relaxes me. I have a hernia. I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 minutes., 56. Ron Swanson, Sting like a bee. 32 Brilliant Ron Swanson Quotes That Will Inspire You To Live Your Best When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I dont really care about them., 54. Here are the most iconic Ron Swanson quotes to help you reminisce about one of your favorite American TV series! Ron Swanson Quotes, to Enjoy Your Day From American sitcom TV Give 100 percent. The end. Ron Swanson, Turkey can never beat cow. Ron Swanson, You had me at Meat Tornado. Ron Swanson, There is only one bad word: taxes. Ron Swanson, Friends: one to three is sufficient. Ron Swanson, If it doesnt have meat, its a snack. Ron Swanson, OK, everyone: shut up! I am definitely one of those people. What hes trying to say is that love is what keeps us going. Ron Swanson. No matter what the future holds, Ron Swanson will always remain in our hearts as one of televisions most beloved characters. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults. Ron Swanson, The only thing thats important at the end of the day is whats on your gravestone your name. In so many ways, Quote Ambition is a platform that allows people from all over the world to gain the inspiration they need anytime, anywhere! You find somebody you like and you roll the dice. Theres only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Reconsider your life. Ron Swanson, I cant think of anything more noble to go to war over, than bacon and eggs. Ron Swanson, [After being asked if he wants a salad] Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not. Ron Swanson, I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 mins. Ron Swanson, My son is several weeks old. If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio. Ron Swanson, [On bowling] Straight down the middle. The only thing thats important at the end of the day is whats on your gravestone Your name. And look at me! Ron Swanson, If it doesnt have meat, its a snack. Ron Swanson, Hey, who wants to see me climb a tree? Ron Swanson, Breakfast food can serve many purposes. Ron Swanson, Is Star Wars the one with the wizard boy? Ron Swanson, When I eat, it is the food that is scared. Ron Swanson, Busy? He enjoys woodworking, fishing and hunting, but he also secretly moonlights as a jazz saxophonist named Duke Silver. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. Its his best moments. Quote Ambition is your source for quotes. Check em out after the jump, and remember: birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards., 1. Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. Ron Swanson Quotes To Live By. QuotesGram Home of the worlds best breakfast dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse. , Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners. Everything that happened before that was a mistake. Ron Swanson, I prefer quality over flash thats why I refuse to write my signature in cursive. Ron Swanson, Capitalism is the only way It makes America great, England OK and France terrible. Ron Swanson, Strippers do nothing for mebut I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace. Ron Swanson, I like some changes. - Ron Swanson. Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. Id wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures. We still never talk sometimes." Report 61 points POST Pan.D.Mona This! We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. He loves meat, and he loves Leslie Knope, but that's not all there is to love about Ron Swanson. From men into gladiators. Its Nick Offermans 42nd birthday, folks! This is my all time favorite Ron Swanson quote. 9. There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. I dont think that wed survive without it. Ron is a mans man. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are useless., 55. Ron Swanson. Ive created this office as a symbol of how I feel about government. I still get my milk delivered by horse. Ron Swanson, Welcome to Visions of Nature. This room has several paintings in it. He doesnt do a lot of work around here. Ron Swanson. And women are brought to him, maybewhen he desires them. , Capitalism: Gods way of determining who is smart and who is poor. , The less I know about other peoples affairs, the happier I am. I'm going to tell you everything you need to know about the miserable screwed up world of local government." 106. "I said that you'll get a lot of job offers in your life but you only have one hometown.". It can be used to make tents, backpacks, shoes, stretchers, sails, tarpaulins, and I suppose, in the most dire of circumstances, it can be a surface on which to make art. Ron Swanson, I have accrued two hundred and twenty five personal days starting right now Im using all of them. Its better than doing two things with half as much energy and passion. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; Only idiots recommend that. My Moms name is Tamara she goes by Tammy., Im not interested in caring about people. Also, whiskey and a cigar. We come together to make friends What are some of your favorite Parks & Rec quotes? From men into gladiators. This sawed-off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger. After all, who doesnt find comfort in breakfast, and who doesnt love meat and whole milk? The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone. Ron Swanson, Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? The Best Ron Swanson Quotes About Drinking - Thrillist Impossible. #1 "The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. Anything is anything. , Listen, Ive eaten a commissary hamburger for lunch every day for twelve years. 1. Id wish you the best of luck, but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures., 7. As the Director of the Let the quotes above push you to watch the whole of Parks and Recreation again. That way lies madness.. Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. This sawed-off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger. You are free to do so. He has a memorable set of quotes that have become part of popular culture. They have an impeccable business model. , When I walked in this morning and saw that the flag was half-mast, I thought All right, another bureaucrat ate it! , I like Tom. Godspeed. Ron Swanson, I love being a father but there are a few things I miss: Silence. Everything that happened before that was a mistake. , I dont want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief. , Im not interested in caring about people. , [On bowling] Straight down the middle. 105+ Ron Swanson Quotes That Will Knock Your Mustache Off - Scary Mommy No doubt, Ron Swanson will remain an unforgettable character for years to come. End of speech. , Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? There will be no video games, there will be no internet pads. That is indeed a garbage continent. Ron Swanson, Live your life how you want, but dont confuse drama with happiness. Ron Swanson, There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger. Ron Swanson, Im a simple man. Maybe it's his outward disdain for the American government, his woodworking skills, or his unending love of meat and alcohol. Try not to hurt anyone who doesnt deserve it., 10. Your email address will not be published. Ron Swanson Quotes - Page 4 - TV Fanatic Tom is exactly what Im looking for in a government employee. Ron Swanson, 15. Boom, sad wall. Hes a grown man. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone., 52. Its a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Dont teach a man to fishand feed yourself. "Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards." 2. Mr. Offerman received several award nominations for his role as Ron Swanson and went on to win the TCA Award for Individual Achievement in Comedy. Its the iron c*ck shredder of Pawnee. Ron Swanson, My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing hes allowed to decide is who to nuke. I promise. If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio. , History began on July 4, 1776. Its a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Why Ron Swanson Is One of the Best TV Characters of the CenturyAs Explained by Nick Offerman. On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time. The above quotes about Ron Swanson are very funny and will put a smile on your face. 5. Whole-ass one thing. Its horrifying. Ron Swanson, The less I know about other peoples affairs, the happier I am. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something." Comments Most relevant AllysaRae Muscia Angelo Muscia still gotta binge this show lol 32w Simon Dowd Also, I keep a sizable supply of ground chuck in my desk. And from gladiators into Swansons. Ron Swanson's Best Quotes About Drinking. Ron Swanson is a quite a funny TV character, isnt he? government, He believes that too many resources are wasted daily for nothing so 18. budget. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". Keep your tears in your eyeswhere they belong., 31. Fishing is for sport only. One single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a childrens program called Doc McStuffins. And Private. , Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Im going to tell you everything you need to know about the miserable screwed up world of local government. Ron Swanson, 33. When it comes to deadpan humor, theres nobody more iconic in American sitcom than Ron Swanson. Anything more and this becomes figure skating. , The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayers teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. , If any of you need anything at all, too bad. This sawed-off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger. Ive had It for a while, and Ive been ignoring It successfully. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. Im not big on surprises. Ron Swanson, The only reason anyone is going to this thing is because theyre afraid of what Marlene will do to them if they dont. Ron Swanson Quotes - Etsy New Zealand Home of the worlds best breakfast dish: The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse. Ron Swanson, An ideal night out, to me, is stepping onto my porch area and grilling up a thick slab of somethings flesh and then popping in a highlight real from the WNBA. Ron Swanson, Gentlemen, wilderness weekend is upon us. And most of all, there will be no f#^%ing vegetables. , I have a hernia. first aired more than a decade ago in April 2009 and featured a cast of characters serving as the staff of the Parks and Recreation Department of the fictional Indiana town Pawnee. Best friend I ever had. Thats ridiculous., 32. However, have you ever heard of a main character thats completely opposite of that? Do you understand? , Dont start chasing applause and acclaim. Live your life how you want, but dont confuse drama with happiness., 30. From men into gladiators. I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible. Ron Swanson, 16. But as long as I sit still and dont move my head or torso, Im good. We may earn commission from links on this page, but we only recommend products we back. Ron Swanson Quotes - TV Fanatic But as long as I sit still and dont move my head or torso, Im good. Its a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Dont start chasing applause and acclaim. "Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.". April Ludgate Quotes Ron Swanson Quotes About Meat Ron Swanson Quotes To Live By Bacon Ron Swanson Quotes Famous Ron Swanson Quotes Best Ron Swanson Quotes Ron Swanson Quotes Breakfast Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes. Funny Ron Swanson Quotes. QuotesGram people who come in here to ask me for things have to stare right down the barrel Ron Swanson, 44. Its my proudest accomplishment. Impossible. But uh, this morning, I made the mistake of sneezing. Tom is exactly what Im looking for in a government employee. End speech. There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger. Be ice cream or be nothing. Its a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Please and thank you. Ron Swansons character serves as the Director of the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department and is evidently an antithesis to the shows main protagonist, Leslie Knope (played by Amy Poehler)a perky, optimistic government employee and Swansons subordinate. This is an excellent rectangle. I also think its pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they could just go outside and stand in it. Try not to hurt anyone who doesnt deserve it. Ron Swanson, Great job, everyone. This kind of character development beyond the actual show just proves how relatable the character is. I work for the government. Ive cried twice in my life. The last refuge of the cowardly and Blackhearted. , An ideal night out, to me, is stepping onto my porch area and grilling up a thick slab of somethings flesh and then popping in a highlight real from the WNBA. , [Describing his allergies] Cowardice and weak willed men and hazelnuts. , [Describing his sexual history] Epic. "Never half-ass two things. I spent time in a long, unhealthy relationship with someone because I thought the drama and everything was normal. The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds, and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! Here are 25 Ron Swanson quotes for living your life with more integrity. 110% is impossible. Hes never wanted to go that extra mile. Eventually, they have a heart to heart and Ron tells her of a time when he took on too much. End speech. Ron Swanson, Ann Perkins: Youre stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing that you bring with you?Ron Swanson: Silence. Ron Swanson, Its always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. That way lies madness., If any of you need anything at all, too bad. 60+ Best Ron Swanson Quotes | Quote Catalog I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food., 13. Ron Swanson Quotes About Government. QuotesGram I prefer quality over flash thats why I refuse to write my signature in cursive. Skim milk, which is water thats lying about being milk. Ron Swanson, 20. I am Donna's work-proximity associate. Breakfast food can serve many purposes., 14. The role is played by Nick Offermanand many consider it to be one of the funniest TV characters in decades. And women are brought to him, maybewhen he desires them. , I like saying No, it lowers their enthusiasm. , Are you going to tell a man that he cant fart in his own car? , Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out. , Give 100%. 110% is impossible. Love teaches us about ourselves and the people in our lives. Added: April 17, 2014; Hello, Joe. Try not to hurt anyone who doesnt deserve it., Never half-ass two things. Never half-*ss two things. Everything that happened before that was a mistake., 44. I believe that after this is over, theyll be hung in government buildings. And then again when I heard that Lil Sebastian had passed. , There has never been a sadness that cant been cured by breakfast food. , OK, everyone: shut up! We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. That way lies madness. Ron Swanson, 17. If hes your favorite character from Parks and Recreation, then youll no doubt love this collection of the most popular Ron Swanson quotes. I just wanted to make sure this pointless health crusade wont affect the only part of my job that I like. , This is a flying robot that I just shot out of the sky when it tried to deliver me a package. . Nick Offerman's Ron Swansonthe fictional character on the NBC show Parks and Recreation, and possibly the only libertarian you wouldn't like to punch in the facehas gathered a large cult following on the Internet, due to the comedy gold that often flows from his mouth like a whiskey-scented river of wisdom and steaks. Funniest Ron Swanson quotes Sting like a bee, but do not float like a butterfly. End speech. It is intended for welding and filling air ships. "I've cried twice in my life. No fuss. Once when I was 7 and hit by a school bus. Ron Swanson, Ben Wyatt: You know, you are a wonderful guy, and I admire many things about you, but you are a terrible person to discuss personal problems with.Ron: Thank you friend, that really means a lot to me. Ron Swanson, Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, Id choose to do nothing. Swanson is basically saying that we make our own luck and that in business anything that happens is nothing more than the result of cause and effect. I have an uncle who does yoga Ron Swanson. Ron says many ridiculous things during the show, often with a subtle dead pan wit. Here are some of his most famous quotes that help to guide you to live your day-to-day life with more integrity: 35 Inspiring Ron Swanson Quotes To Live Life With Integrity 1.
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